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  ‘I suppose you’re right,’ she said. ‘I try not to get too agitated, but it’s not easy. My husband’s a journalist, so he has to go out and cover the most difficult things – he’s the London correspondent for a Baltimore paper, so he has to do everything from ship launches to air raids to travelling with the services all over the place. And there’re my other two children evacuated to Norfolk, and Jessie to worry about, and Goosey – she’s awfully old, and been with us for years and I can’t persuade her to use the shelter and if they come to our side of London, heaven help us. And then there’s Robin –’ She stopped then, suddenly confused. ‘Heavens, how I do chatter on! I do so beg your pardon. I can’t think what got into me to be so boring.’

  ‘Not at all,’ he said and smiled.

  Robin, who’d finished her plateful by now, smiled too, looking at her mother. ‘I dare say it’s because he’s interested in psychiatry. You make people blurt it all out, don’t you? Isn’t that what psychiatry is for?’

  ‘Not precisely,’ Landow said.

  ‘Psychiatry?’ Hamish had lifted his head. ‘I didn’t know that. And I tend to pick up most things around the department.’

  Landow’s lips quirked. ‘I bet you do. Someone as quiet and as observant as you has to – I’ve watched you doing it and been very amused. Does it worry you that you didn’t discover this about me?’

  ‘Not in the least,’ Hamish said and bent his head to look at his own plate, also empty now. ‘It was just – I thought it interesting.’

  ‘I interrupted you before,’ Poppy said then. ‘I’m sorry, Hamish. What was it you were going to say?’

  ‘Hmm?’ Hamish looked bemused.

  ‘When I started talking you said you wanted to ask something.’

  ‘Oh, yes,’ Hamish looked at Landow and lifted his brows in interrogation. ‘If I might ask you – what’s a luntsman?’

  Landow looked amused. ‘Ah! A mysterious word, is it?’

  ‘Very.’

  ‘It’s a rather altered one. It derives from the German word Landsman – in Yiddish, which itself derives largely from German. It’s often mispronounced and it means simply a person from the same place as oneself. In the days when a great many Jewish immigrants fled here from the bad time in Europe, they clustered together in groups made up not just of their immediate relatives, but of people from their home village or district. It was like being related to each other – kith if not kin – but over the years the word has come to mean any Jew. One greets another as one of their own people. There! A very full and frank explanation for you!’

  Hamish was looking at Robin. ‘So you are Jewish then?’ he said. ‘I wasn’t sure from what you told me – ’

  ‘A quarter of me is,’ Robin said and looked steadily at him. ‘Does that worry you?’

  ‘Worry me? Not in the least! I’m verra interested, is all. My family are good Scots Presbyterians, do you see, and they regard the Jews verra highly as the people of the Bible. I’ve never had the good fortune to meet anyone who is Jewish. A quarter, you say?’

  ‘My father was Jewish,’ Poppy said. ‘Jessie’s brother. My mother was not – ’

  ‘So you aren’t’ Dr Landow said. ‘Are you?’

  Poppy smiled. ‘Because of lineage only being through the mother? Yes, you’re right. I’m not one of the chosen – except from my own choice.’

  ‘How do you mean?’ Hamish said, clearly fascinated.

  ‘It’s rather practical really,’ Landow said. ‘The ancients of the tribe reckoned you couldn’t guarantee a person’s father, but you could always know who his mother was. Maternity can be proven, in other words, unlike paternity. So, they made it a rule – Jewish mothers have Jewish babies. Jewish fathers don’t necessarily – ’

  Hamish shook his head admiringly. ‘Well, well, is that so? My father will find that verra interesting. I’ll write and tell him – ’

  Jessie arrived then in a great flurry of excitement, followed by the restaurant’s only waitress, who was looking more than a little flustered, and started handing out quantities of food. There was more salt beef and piles of fried potatoes and pickled green cucumbers in quantities and Hamish happily accepted a second helping as did Dr Landow, though with a display of unwillingness that fooled no one, and at last they were all eating contentedly. And chattering away as though they’d all known each other for years, though in fact two of the party were total strangers to both Jessie and Poppy. But it didn’t seem to matter and Robin, looking round at them all, had a sudden frisson of pleasure at having been the person who had brought this disparate group together. It made her feel very grown up, suddenly, in a way she rather liked.

  ‘What does your Ma call you, Dr Landow?’ Jessie said, now very comfortable with him and beaming at him in an almost proprietorial fashion. ‘We can’t go on being so formal, can we?’

  ‘Sam,’ said Dr Landow. ‘Call me Sam. All of you – I’d like that.’

  ‘I daren’t,’ Robin said. ‘It might slip out sometime when we were in Casualty and Sister Priestland would skin me alive.’

  ‘Hospital hierarchies!’ Sam said. ‘So ridiculous – but useful too, I suppose.’

  ‘How can they be useful?’ Robin demanded. ‘As far as I can see they’re just designed to make fools out of junior nurses – ’

  ‘ – and drudges out of orderlies,’ Hamish said. ‘If any of them knew I was sitting here with a doctor and a nurse, talking on equal terms, I’d be – well, you can imagine. There’d be all the hounds of hell called out to gore me alive.’

  ‘Not quite,’ Sam said. ‘But not far off. But the rules and the regulations are useful, you know. When there’s a crisis of some sort everyone does what they have to do because they’re more scared of upsetting the people above them or looking stupid to those below them than they are of whatever the emergency is. That’s how armies operate, of course. Take away the soldier’s individuality and you’ve got a hard fighting weapon. Let ’em think and do for themselves and you’ve got mayhem.’

  ‘That’s one of the reasons I won’t serve in the forces,’ Hamish said. ‘I’ll not kill, no matter what. I’m a good Christian – oh!’ He looked awkward. ‘I hope that’s no offence to you.’

  ‘Of course not! Why should it be?’

  ‘Well, like I said. I’m a good Christian, so I don’t kill – but I’m also a man, and God gave us free will to do as we think fit. He didna’ make us to obey the rules of other men. So, I’ll no’ join any army where I’m no’ allowed to think for myself.’

  ‘Well done,’ Sam said and reached over and touched his arm. ‘I feel the same. But in my job I don’t have the problem much, of course. I’m not entirely free of it, because there are still the consultants to worry about and the hospital administrators and so forth – but I’m allowed to have my own medical judgement. And that helps. It’s not easy being you.’

  ‘It is not,’ said Hamish fervently and then smiled, an unusual expression for him. ‘You’re a pleasure to talk to, Sam.’

  ‘And so are you,’ Sam said and Robin lifted her brows at her mother.

  ‘I’m beginning to feel a bit out of place at this mutual admiration society meeting,’ she said.

  ‘And why shouldn’t they?’ Jessie swallowed the last mouthful of her massive supper. ‘They’re both nice people. You should ask them to the party as well, Poppy.’

  ‘Oh, yes,’ Robin said, remembering. ‘What’s all this about a party, Ma?’

  Poppy managed not to look the daggers she wanted to at Jessie.

  ‘It’s your grandmother’s, not mine,’ she said, not looking at Robin. ‘There are some cousins coming over, one from Australia, one from South Africa, and she thought a party would be agreeable for us all.’

  ‘Grandmamma said that?’ Robin said, staring. ‘I don’t believe it!’

  ‘I’d hardly lie to you,’ Poppy said drily, knowing perfectly well that she had in spirit if not in word. The party had been her own idea in fact. She had felt so low and s
o tired for so long that she had developed a sort of guilt about it. It was as though she did nothing but work and sleep and all the enjoyable aspects of life had been dropped. A party, she had decided, to welcome the cousins Mildred had spoken of, would be the answer, a chance for everyone to let down their hair a little and relax. She had broached the idea to Mildred in such terms that the old lady had finally not only consented but seen it as her own original notion, and offered to have it in the Leinster Terrace house rather than in Norland Square. Not, she was at some pains to add, that there was anything wrong about Norland Square – but Leinster Terrace was bigger. And Poppy, not wanting to let Goosey push herself into excessive activity (which only got in other people’s way) which she would be sure to do if the party were held on her own territory, had agreed.

  Now she said to Robin. ‘Your grandmother wants to welcome her nephews, and this seemed as good a way as any other to do it – ’

  ‘I’m doing the food,’ Jessie said. ‘I’m already saving up some special stuff – dried fruit and so forth –’ And she buried her own unease, which had to do with the source of her extra supplies; I won’t think about Bernie and his affairs, she told herself fiercely, I won’t. ‘So that’ll be good. And the more people the merrier. That Leinster Terrace house is hell to fill up, believe me. So you bring your friends Robin, boobala. That nice girl Chick as well as Hamish and Sam here, hey? I like Chick. She’s got an appetite, bless her, it’s a pleasure to see.’

  ‘Well, it’s very sweet of you, Auntie Jessie. If Ma thinks it’ll be all right with Grandma – ’

  ‘Of course it will!’ Jessie was at her most beaming and expansive. ‘How could it not be? Her lovely little Robin and all her friends? It’ll be a pleasure for everyone, believe me.’

  ‘Then we’ll all be there,’ Robin said and grinned at Hamish.

  ‘Well, as long as I’m no’ on duty,’ he said and Robin made a face and looked at her mother.

  ‘Hell! I forgot that sort of problem! What do we do?’

  ‘The date’s not set yet,’ Poppy said, a little unwillingly, feeling herself railroaded and not knowing first of all why it mattered, and secondly why she didn’t stand up for her own doubts. ‘I suppose it could be fixed to fit in with you – ’

  ‘Great! I’ll check the off-duty for the next while and let you know when Hamish and I are off duty –’ She stopped then and looked at Sam Landow a little shyly. ‘I can’t speak for the doctors, of course.’

  ‘No need to worry about me,’ Sam Landow said. ‘I’d love to come to your party and I thank you kindly for the invitation. And as soon as you let me know the date and the time, I’ll make an arrangement with Mike Smith. He makes me change duties over and over to fit in with his elaborate love life, so there’s no reason why he shouldn’t do it for me for just once! It’ll be a pleasure to ask him.’

  ‘So there it is,’ Jessie said beaming round at them all. ‘It’s settled. Poppy and me, we make a party at Mildred’s house, and everybody comes. It’ll be the best ever, believe me!’

  18

  It had been a raw grey day, and the evening had turned it into a bitterly cold night. Robin, huddled in the corner seat on the bus that was trundling through Oxford Street towards Bayswater and Holland Park, pulled her coat more firmly around her and wondered forlornly how she could possibly expect to look anything but a wreck at the party. She knew her nose was red with the cold, and that her lashes, to which she had daringly applied a coat of mascara, were beaded with the tears that the biting air stung out of her eyes, and that altogether she was anything but the image of a happy girl embarked on a glamorous evening out.

  Chick beside her was just as miserable, but not quite as cold, for she had dug out of her capacious luggage a pair of large fur ear-muffs, which sat incongruously on each side of her round face and made her look like a startled and dishevelled rabbit, and Robin turned her head to peer at her in the gloom thrown by the small blue light-bulbs that were sparsely arranged inside the bus and wanted to laugh at her; and felt too cold to do so.

  Chick caught her eye and reached up to pull off her ear-muffs. ‘Here you are, kid. Your turn to be warm,’ she said and then huddled more deeply into her coat collar.

  ‘Oh, it’s all right.’ Robin tried to push them back at her, but Chick growled, ‘Put ’em on, you great ninny! Your nose is glowing like a good deed in a naughty world. You can’t arrive looking like that. Your Hamish’d be badly put out.’

  ‘He’s not my Hamish,’ Robin said. ‘And anyway, you saw his note –’ But it was an almost automatic retort. She’d got used to Chick’s teasing about Hamish. She had for weeks insisted on behaving as though he and Robin were Tristan and Isolde or Abelard and Heloise come again, even though Robin had assured her over and over again that she regarded the big Scot as little more than a very good friend, but tonight she was too miserable to care anyway.

  It had not been a good night last night. She and Chick had come on duty full of excitement because the next night was to be the first of four nights off duty, and starting with a party, today, expecting to find good old Sister Priestland – of whom both had grown very fond – bustling about as usual; only to discover that she had sprained her ankle in a bomb hole while crossing the yard and was off sick. Which meant that Staff Nurse Meek was in charge, her eyes gleaming with pleasure at the prospect of harrying all her juniors unmercifully, and Chick and Robin, for whom most of her ire was saved, most of all.

  And harry them she had. How Chick had kept a civil tongue between her teeth had been little short of a miracle and Robin too had been goaded almost beyond bearing, with the most ill-named Nurse Meek sending her to do all the foulest cleaning-up jobs she could find for her, and then, after she’d done them, making Hamish go and do them again since Robin’s efforts, as she told the entire department, patients and all, in a very loud voice, had been so puerile.

  Hamish, who had a good line in dumb stoical acceptance had shown no reaction at all when this happened, except for throwing a sharp and minatory glance at Robin which almost in as many words warned her not to rise to the bait that Meek was so carefully trailing, and even when the Staff Nurse changed her tactics and started sending Robin to redo some of Hamish’s jobs, kept his mouth firmly closed and his expression calm and unworried. And Robin, with that example, somehow managed to be quiet, too. But doing so had used up a great deal of her energy and she had gone off duty drooping, as Chick put it, like a lily three days after the funeral.

  ‘That Meek woman is the biggest, most grade-A female animal I’ve ever come across!’ Robin had exploded as they’d traipsed up to the night nurses’ supper table. ‘One of these days I’ll put strychnine in her coffee. I swear it – ’

  ‘Not worth hanging for,’ Chick said. ‘And say what you mean. The woman’s a bitch and cow and a – ’

  ‘Hush, Chick,’ Robin warned, for they were within Night Sister’s earshot now as she stood magisterially serving the night staff’s meal, her way of making sure they were all present. ‘They’ll have you up for lèse-majesté or something – ’

  ‘The hell with it,’ Chick said cheerfully. ‘It was a female animal you said, wasn’t it? All right then! If anyone listens in we were talking zoology. Oh, God, look at that! Dead baby and mashed innards as well. How can our guardians be so lousy to us?’

  Robin had taken her portion of suet pudding with bacon bits in it and the pile of hideously mashed beets to her place at the table to stir it around and pretend to eat, and then had gone to bed to sleep uneasily all day, and had got up with the ghost of a headache to mar her anticipation of at least a better evening than she had experienced last night; only to find waiting for her a note from Hamish explaining tersely that he’d had his duty changed and had to be on until ten pm, so he’d be late at the party if he managed to get there at all, which he doubted, though he’d do his best.

  She had to admit her disappointment wasn’t so much because she wanted Hamish to be with her, fond though she had become o
f him; it was more that she needed him as an accessory. The thought of walking into her grandmother’s party with just Chick beside her and seeing Chloe’s jeering state made her face go hot – which in this ice-cold bus was at least a little comforting – because she always did manage to make Robin feel inadequate in such matters. To be accompanied by a young man of her own, for once, would have been so nice.

  But there it was, she couldn’t be, and somehow she’d have to carry it off. And she sighed there beside Chick, a little gustily, and was rewarded with a sharp glance and then a little squeeze of her arm.

  ‘Fed up, ducky? Me too. Last night really was the pits.’

  ‘Well, maybe dear old Priestland’ll be back by the time we are,’ Robin said, trying to sound optimistic. ‘And maybe tonight’ll be fun – though I’m beginning to doubt it.’

  ‘Why? There’ll be lots of your Auntie Jessie’s food and that makes up for a hell of a lot.’

  ‘Not for my grandmother looking daggers at Auntie Jessie and Auntie Jessie just laughing at her, which always makes the old lady worse, and Ma trying to keep the peace between them. This party seemed like a good idea when they talked about it two months ago. Now I’m not so sure. Those two cousins could turn out to be complete stuffed shirts, and there’ll be Chloe –’ and again she lapsed into gloomy silence as she contemplated her half-sister’s probable behaviour.

  ‘Well, we’ll just have to make the best of it. Where do we get out?’ Chick peered out at the dark street outside and Robin did too and then jumped up.

  ‘Dammit, we’ve gone too far,’ she said. ‘Come on.’ And they tumbled off the bus at the next stop, only to find that in the blackout they’d managed to undershoot by two fare stages and so had to walk, in their thin dancing shoes, all the rest of the way.

  But at least the exercise warmed them up and they arrived at the house at Leinster Terrace looking better than either of them knew, their eyes bright with the gloss of tears created by the cold, and their cheeks rosy.